a stupid rant

These days, I have been harboring a lot of thoughts on the pointlessness of life, and the universal truth. The universal truth is a bit nebulous but I will try to explain it. I am pretty sure of the purpose of life, which I got in an epiphany, while waiting for M, in her office, with my eyes perceiving nothing in the waiting room and my ears being treated to some soft, classical music. And the purpose is, to tend to your mind and body. If you think real hard, you will realize that everything you do, I mean everything, is for the sake of your mind and body. If that is the purpose, then life has no meaning. And if life has no purpose or meaning, it is pointless. M agrees to it. So my search for purpose or meaning, might have ended with that flash. But since, I live within my body and mind, I have to take care of them. And so here I am, waiting for M to heal my mind.

A lot of spiritual teachers will tell you that life is a gift and one should make the most of it. I don’t buy that theory. Imagine, someone giving you a gift, and you play with it, take care of it and be with it day in and day out. That is awfully boring. I remember a Japanese toy which was a rage among the kids because they were supposed to be taken care of, like babies. After some time , the kids lost interest in them and guess what happened. The toys died and the kids went back to business as usual.

I believe that there is a universal truth, beyond the pointlessness, purposelessness, meaninglessness of life, in fact, beyond the accident of life itself. This truth is also beyond the context of the humankind. All truths laid down by humankind, stay within the finite set of the human race. No human race, no human truths. I am interested in the truth that decided that the dinosaur project must be terminated, either because the dinosaurs were posing too many problems, or they were beginning to occupy too much space, or perhaps, by the process of evolution, they were beginning to think. Nevertheless, I believe, it was no accident.

M tells me the human brain is layered into the stem or stupid brain, as she cutely puts it, which only knows to respond to stimuli, the feeling layer, the part that deals with the complexity of emotions, the filing layer, the one that deals with memory, another great source of misery, and the thinking layer, perhaps the crown jewel of evolution, but highly misused. M believes that many of my problems are because, my stupid brain is too dominant or animal-like, like a lizard’s, and I should let my responses be filtered, evaluated or analyzed by the thinking layer.

But I believe, my thinking layer, abetted by others’ thinking layers, is causing the most damage to me. If I let my stupid brain do what it does best, that is, respond to stimuli and forget all about it, things would be simpler. Like for example, if you hug me, and my stupid brain hugs you back, and damns the other layers, it is all fine and dandy. But no, it does not end there. Was it appropriate? Was it ethical? And days later, ‘I think she did not like it, so I better hug myself’, and ad nauseum.

And it is the same thinking layer that finds life pointless, and wants to know the universal truth and the same thinking layer, joined by the feeling and filing layers, that made me rant so stupidly. The stupid brain was far away from the scene.

I think, feel and know that the secret to the universal truth lies in the stupid brain.